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If this is for real....then what a great discovery!

Secondhand Lions (2003)

Young Walter was heading out to the country to spend a few months with his uncles Garth and Hub McCann. They were laid back, gray and old and eccentric. Very, very eccentric. Walter soon learns they haven't a telephone or television, which meant the summer was sure to be a real bore. Salesmen would show up from time to time, and when they'd arrive, Garth and Hub drew their shotguns. And then, some additional relatives arrived: Ralph, Helen and their three rotten kids. Ralph and Helen cared nothing about Garth and Hub. They were just waiting for them to kick so they'd inherit their rumored billion dollar fortune. Ralph and Helen were very mean to Walter, who wanted to run away but Garth convinced him to stay. Garth also convinced Hub to convince Walter to stay. Thankfully, Ralph, Helen and the kids left the next day. Every night, Hub would sleep walk and pretend to be in a sword fight. Walter witnessed this one night so Garth told him the tale. It all began in 1914 when young Garth and Hub arrive in Europe just as the Germans begin to invade. The next thing they know, they're on a ship shanghaied to North Africa. It seems Hub and Garth were signed up in the Foreign Legion. Hub was a very good swordsman and could fight like 20 men. One day his fighting was witnessed by a handmaiden to Princess Jasmine (you read right). The princess wanted to meet Hub and she did one day. And it was actually, truthfully, love at first site.

When salesmen came up again, Walter convinced Garth and Hub to at least hear them out. So they end up buying a skeet shooter and a bunch of vegetable seeds that all turn out to be one vegetable: corn. They also get a real live giraffe and lion. The lion was used, tame and lazy. Walter wanted to keep it and nurse it back to health. He named it Jasmine. At the sound of that name, Hub quietly walked away. They go to the feed store where, after loading several 50 pound feed bags into the truck by himself, Hub collapses. At the hospital, Garth continues the story to Walter: Hub and Jasmine were to be married, but unfortunately Jasmine was spoken for: by a greedy Arabian Sheik. He hated Hub, so he put a price on his head: 10,000 gold pieces. Hub had to fight off assassins every minute of every day, so finally he and Garth devised a plan that resulted in Hub getting away Scott free and Garth getting the gold. Back to the present day, Hub fought his way out of the hospital and they go get some BBQ ribs. Suddenly in come some hooligans, but Hub gives them a lesson in manners they won't soon forget. Back at home, Jasmine the lion has finally come around and became wild again. The corn field was as close to the African jungle as she could get.

As time went by Walter developed a more and more loving and trusting relationship with his uncles and they developed the same with Walter. Life was going great. Hub even told the rest of the story to Walter. After he and Jasmine were married, she sadly died, so Hub went back into the legion for another 40 years then moved to Texas and had been there ever since. Then very unfortunately one night, Walter's lying cheat of a mother arrives with her new beau, Stan, a detective. They tell Walter and they found out Garth and Hub were really bank robbers and what they had told Walter was a lie, but Walter knew Stan and Mom were lying. Stan becomes abusive but luckily the lion makes short work of him, then it sadly dies and Stan sadly survives. Mom Mae then wanted to take Walter back with her, but Walter preferred staying and living with his uncles, who were currently constructing a plane. So Walter's lousy mom and that lout Stan were gone for good and all was well. And through the years, Walter grew up and became an artist. His uncles finally finished the plane and had one last, great adventure.

Wonderful movie!! Excellent!! Oscar worthy performances here! Michael Caine and Robert Duvall, two of the best actors of our time pared together with Haley Joel Osment, whom we all know as the "I see dead people" kid from The Sixth Sense. Garth and Hub seem like crusty curmudgeons on the outside, but they have hearts as good as gold! You get to care about these characters so much that you quickly develop hatred for the characters who come about and try to complicate things for them. Like Kyra Sedgewick, Nicky Katt (I hate him!), Michael O'Neill, and Deirdre O'Connell. They all played good villains. This movie has alot of comedy and alot of feel-good performances. If you like Robert Duvall or Michael Caine or Haley Joel Osment, Secondhand Lions is for you! See it today! You'll love it!